Websters Dictionary defines the word Brave as: "Having or showing courage."
It further defines the word Courage as: "Mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty."
Being brave or courageous doesn't automatically mean you had to have fought in a war, been a police officer or other emergency responder. It doesn't mean you've been afflicted with some great adversity or disability and you've lived through it. Bravery and courage comes in many different forms and applies in so many walks of life and situations. A child who shows bravery at the doctor by not crying when they get a shot, or who sleeps in their bed for the first time alone showing courage from monsters under the bed. A woman diagnosed with breast cancer who was brave in the face of a terminal illness. A gay or lesbian individual who came out to their parents or friends or a group of people and bravely affirmed their identity and stood courageously amidst adversity and judgement.
With all of the recent comments about Caitlin Jenner and those who say she shouldn't be called brave or courageous, I say to you, unless you've been through it you have no room to say what is brave or courageous. For a person who has lived their entire lives for other people and as someone other than who they felt they were to make the decision to come out to the entire world and become who they have always felt they were is the very definition of brave and courage, the epitome in fact. If you think the decision was easy or the actual act of announcing it and revealing yourself as a completely new person doesn't take courage then you are very much mistaken. No one has indicated that Caitlin is greater than a soldier who has fought for our country and possibly lost their life in battle. Or a policeman or fireman who work so hard to protect our cities everyday. Her bravery and courage are completely different, but are nonetheless important and valid.
Most of the people making these comments have lived what society sees as a "normal" life and haven't had to face such adversity. Until you've had to experience the pain and heartache that one feels when going through such a transition and struggle you will never know the amount of courage and bravery it takes just to make it through each day with a smile on your face.
This has prompted me to sit down and write this post. You see, I'm not "normal" as society would define it, but I know that I am normal in my own right. And in my 35 years I have had to be brave and courageous at many points in my life despite the trials and tribulations that I faced. For your consideration I present, my story (the abridged version.)
Growing up I lived in a household of 2 brothers and 1 sister. 1 brother and my sister are older than I am with my sister and I being closer in age and as such we related more to one another and were probably closer to one another growing up than I was with my two brothers. Not that I wasn't close to them, but I definitely spent more time with my sister. We played a lot of pretend as little kids. House, dolls, doctor, the usual kid pretend scenarios. Sometimes my sister liked to experiment with me and dress me up, put make up on me, again typical kid stuff.
I vividly remember how much I loved girls. I had so many crushes as a kid. From summer camp flings to school classroom crushes. I remember one of my first heartbreaks was in the 4th grade. I had the biggest crush on a girl named Abby. Abby was an extraordinary girl. Pretty brown hair, green eyes, porcelain skin. A group of friends and I used to put on talent shows as kids and I did a magic act and used to have Abby as my assistant. Until I almost choked her with a trick wand during one show, then she didn't seem keen on helping me after that. (Go ahead and make your jokes with that one so we can continue the story.)
It was Valentines Day and I wore my Sunday best to school. I had my mom help me make out the standard school Valentine cards, got a stuffed bear, a box of chocolates and a single rose. Today was the day I asked Abby to be my valentine. When I finally got up the nerve to ask her I gave her my offerings and waited with bated breath for her reply. While the gifts were flattering she eventually declined my request to be my valentine. Devastated, I was determined that if I couldn't have her, she couldn't have my gifts so I took them back. Why should you get to eat chocolate? I was the one who was heartbroken, hell I needed that chocolate to drown my sorrows!
This was the first of many heartaches I would experience with girls growing up. For those that know me now, I'm sure it's tough to envision me being interested in girls, but I assure, I very much was. I had several girlfriends up until I became a teenager. My final fling with a girl came in my senior year of high school. It was also my first sexual encounter with a girl. As our relationship began, the sexual experiences were all one-sided. Meaning she would help me out, however I never returned the favor. (I was a 17 year old boy who had a girlfriend that did those sort of things, of course I took advantage. I wasn't stupid) Eventually she grew tired of this lop sided pleasure fest. One evening she bluntly asked me to return the favor. I, being ignorant to the fact of what exactly she wanted from me asked her what I should do. She expressed that she wanted me to "touch her down there." Woah.....that sounds pretty intimate. But not seeing a real way out of it, I decided to buck up and do it. So I took a deep breath, reached over and put my hand "down there" and almost immediately retracted my hand with the exclamation "EW IT'S WET!" She in much dismay replied 'It's supposed to be!" I made my decision then and there that this was definitely not for me. We broke up very shortly thereafter. Shocking, I know.
Let's rewind a few years if you don't mind.
Despite the infatuation I had with girls, I always felt that I wasn't like other boys. I was more effeminate and didn't like to do the usual boy things. Oh sure I played sports (briefly) out of obligation more than a desire to do so, but I was more interested in crafty, creative things, more of and indoor kind of boy. My older brother and I are 5 years apart in age. While today that is not a big gap, when you're 9 and he's 14, there isn't much you have in common and he was "too cool" for his little brother. My younger brother was 10 years my junior so I was "too cool" for him. Mind you I hold no grudge and I absolutely love my brothers and we are very close today. My point for this is that I sought out male relationships more purposeful whereas other boys seemed to just migrate together.
There was an older kid that took an interest in me and befriended me. Being nine years old, when an older kid offers to be your friend and hang out with you, it's like an honor. He's a teenager and he wants to hang out with me? It was exciting. He could teach me how to act mature and be cool and maybe get the girls! (Spoiler alert, I didn't get the girls.) We had a great deal of fun together. His brother and my brother wrestled on the same team and so we hung out at all of the wrestling tournaments and we would have sleepovers at one anothers houses. We'd "camp out" in the bedroom and build sheet forts to play in. We would run around in the woods and pretend we were hunting. The typical things that I assumed all boys did together.
One night while staying at his home, we were in his bedroom hiding out in a sheet fort. He asked if I wanted to play a game. Of course I did! The game he explained would go as follows: He had a jar of quarters. He would ask me to do a certain task and every time I did one, he'd give me a quarter. Not sure what the tasks were I blindly agreed at the thought of making some money. He took off his shirt and for my first task, he asked me to touch his chest. That seemed odd, but I complied. He offered the reward, a quarter. That was easy. He continued by taking off his shorts and stood in front of me in his underwear. Still unsure where this was heading he proceeded to ask me to touch his crotch. Assuming this was some sort of "boys truth or dare" type of game, I begrudgingly complied. Quarter. He continued to take off his underwear. Standing there naked he tasked me with touching his boy parts (I don't want to be graphic here and you're a grown up so deal with it.) At this point I remember shaking from nerves not feeling really comfortable with what was happening and feeling that it wasn't normal, although he, sensing my nerves assured me this was normal. So I touched him. Quarter. Hoping it was done I stood there with my 3 quarters wondering what was next. For the next task he offered 4 quarters. He asked that I put my mouth on it for a minute. I knew that wasn't normal and had never experienced anything like that. But he was older and I was a naive child, ignorant to how teenage boys acted. Maybe he was right. Maybe this is what older boys do together. So I complied. After that he put his clothes back on. The game was over. At least for that time.
This "game" continued for nearly two years. Each time got more and more intimate. Each time he assured me that it was normal and it was OK. When I turned 11 I finally found my voice and took a stand that I wasn't going to continue with the game and that I was not comfortable playing the game anymore. We eventually stopped hanging out altogether and I haven't seen him since.
As I got older I faced more adversity as boys noticed my effeminate nature and could tell that I was "different". We lived in a small town where anything that wasn't "normal" was not welcome and people let you know it. I dealt with name calling. "Faggot!" "Queer!" "Homo!" All of the typical slurs. I got punched at least once a day. Kids would take my back pack on the bus and dump it on the floor. I got shoved into my locker. The popular kids would mock me and laugh at me. It was a hellish time in my childhood. High school was the absolute worst.
When I entered high school, I started to "notice" boys more. They became more intriguing to me. There was a draw, an air of fascination and attraction. I found myself staring at the athletes during gym class as I sat on the sidelines. I kept a journal where I wrote notes about each boy that I liked and what I liked about him. These simple thoughts quickly became an obsession as I found myself almost lusting after them. Picturing myself in various sexual scenarios with them. Wanting to express my feelings. On the contrary I still wasn't sure what the feelings were. Sure I knew what it meant to be gay, but to this point I had been chasing girls. Why was I suddenly attracted to boys?
I pause here to say, please don't try to backtrack and make a connection to my lack of male figures growing up and my first sexual encounter being with an older boy who took advantage of my ignorance and naivety. I wasn't "made" gay by these circumstances. The inclinations were always there I just never had been in a situation previously to really feel those inclinations or realize what they meant.
I digress. The kids in high school caught on to me, or so it seemed. Making up stories about catching me masturbating in class while looking at boys (which never happened). My whole freshmen year culminated with the story of the year. A group of the popular kids got together and concocted a story that I had written a letter to the all star senior quarterback of the football team, expressing my love for him and that I wanted to have sex with him and how much I dreamed about it. Truth be told he wasn't all that cute and wasn't even in my journal of boys that I really did dream about. Nonetheless the story went around school and I couldn't turn a corner without snickering or someone making a comment about this. It got so bad that I had to go to the school counselor to seek help with how to deal with it. The guy never could produce the letter. His mom was a teacher at the school as well. The counselor suggested I write a letter to his mom explaining the situation and that if he did not rectify the situation by confirming that the story was not true that we could press sexual harassment charges against him. She quickly reacted and assured me that it would not continue. But you can't undo that kind of damage in high school. Those kids would never forget what they were told. But most of the instigators did eventually graduate and life returned to what would be "normal" for the rest of my time there.
After graduation and turning 18, having experienced the one sexual encounter with a girl that (if you remember) did not end well. I finally admitted to myself that I liked boys, I wanted to be with boys, I was sexually attracted to boys. Yes, I was gay.
The rest of the story is really just a mish mosh of experiences and stories that need not be told at this time. Over the coming years I would come out to my sister, my best friends and their mom and eventually my own mother. Most people took it well and confirmed with me that they knew I was gay and were just waiting for me to realize it. My mother didn't take it quite as well. Mind you, living in a small town, she was concerned with how people would perceive it, how I would be treated etc. What she didn't necessarily know is that I'd already endured all of it. I'd been called every name, beaten up, neglected, rejected, outcast, everything they could throw at me I faced it and had made it through. It didn't matter anymore what anyone thought about it. This was who I was and I was going to be myself despite what anyone else had to say about it. (I'm ecstatic to tell you that today my mother and I are very close and she is very comfortable with my lifestyle and my partner and it is a non-issue now.)
I'm proud of my sexuality. As strange as that sounds to most people. I'm not proud that I like boys, because that is silly. I'm proud to be a part of such a community of people who through so many years have faced the most extreme of situations. They've been jailed, beaten, killed, rejected all because of who they loved. Yet they continued to be who they knew they were. They never denied it, they never took it back. They've pressed onward through the years, fighting bravely and courageously against the tide of society and pushing aside the standard definitions of what others said was normal. They paved the way for me to be able to be who I am and not be afraid the express it. That's what makes me proud.
I don't tell you all of these things to garner sympathy or any reaction of awe or shock for what I have endured during my lifetime. (Trust that there are several therapists out there who have seen me through all of this and more! I've let it all go and it does not have a hold on me any longer.) I know and assure you that hundreds of thousands if not millions of people have endured so much worse, including losing their life fighting for what they believed in. Not just gay people, but people in general who have been brave and courageous standing up for their rights and fighting for their beliefs. I don't claim to have had it worse than anyone. I don't regret anything I have experienced in my life because it has all made me who I am today and has given me the strength to face such trials head on and know that I will survive the rough times. It does get better. It did get better. It is better.
I felt compelled to share my story to say that I had to be brave and hold fast to my courage as I got beat up every day and never fought back. I had to be brave and courageous to walk into that school everyday with a smile on my face despite the names kids would yell at me, or being shoved into my locker and made to feel inferior to those kids who weren't "a freak" like me. It took courage to finally admit to myself and to others who I truly was and to be comfortable and confident in my own skin despite what anyone else thought. Millions of gay and lesbian people around the world can relate to this courage and bravery as they too have endured and continued being brave despite their hardships.
I'm here today a strong person, happy with who I am. I will soon marry the man of my dreams and I admit I never would have dreamed in my lifetime I would ever get to have that experience. I didn't survive by being a coward. I didn't survive by giving up and giving in. I survived by being brave and knowing that I would be OK. If I could go back to that nine year old little boy I would tell him that even though right now it seems things are out of sorts and you aren't sure what life is doing, you will be OK. You will be brave you will find your courage and your voice and you will stand up and be strong and become an amazing person, despite what you are facing now.
So to those of you who say that Caitlin Jenner isn't brave or isn't courageous, please pardon my language, but FORGET YOU! You don't know what torture and pain and heartache she has lived with and had to face. The ridicule and rejection and sorrow you experience living a life outside of who you truly are. Dealing with the slurs and bullying and ignorance from those who lash out at you because they don't like you or don't understand you. You don't have to understand me. You don't have to like me. This decision isn't for you to make. This is my life and I am going to live it how I want. You don't have to agree with it, but don't say that I am not normal or that I am a freak simply because you are an ignorant and insensitive bastard who was clearly not raised with any tact or respect for others. Whether you believe homosexuality is wrong or you think transgender people are freaks, welcome to America you are entitled to your thoughts and opinions but until you've experienced what I've experienced, until you've been sexually mistreated, bullied, picked on, beat up and made to feel like you aren't worth living, and yet you stand strong, you don't get to tell me that I'm not brave. I am the definition of brave, indeed the epitome of the very word.
Did I lose a limb in war? Did I fight on the front lines for my country? No, but I fought my own war my own private battle every single day of my life. Lucky you that you were born privileged and "normal". I still fight every day for my rights and acceptance in this world and it takes every ounce of bravery and courage that I can muster to smile, walk down the street with my head held high and say to myself, "I'm OK. I am a person and I matter."
If you are struggling or feel like things seem hopeless, stay strong. Be brave. Find your courage within and know that you can do it. You can make it through the storm and you will be stronger and better because of it.
To Caitlin Jenner - You are brave. You are courageous. You are strong. Be you and don't worry about those who seek to bring you down. Keep fighting and know you matter and you are loved.
And that, quite frankly, is all that I have to say about that.
Keep your head up.
Keith
Thursday, June 4, 2015
Friday, May 22, 2015
You get a water break in 15 minutes....
That was pretty much the gist of today's Insanity Max 30 workout. Normally after each set of exercises (1:30 or so) you get a 30 second water break. However in the day 5 workout that was not the case. Today's workout titled "Friday Fight: Round I" was a collaboration of all of the moves we have learned this week wrapped into one heart pounding, sweat pouring, muscle tearing, lungs screaming 30 minute workout. Ridiculous.
And with that week 1 of Insanity Max 30 is in the books. Now I get 2 days of rest before I get to go back at it all again next week! Only 7 weeks to go! On Saturdays they have an optional "Pulse" video that you can do instead of resting. Guess what I'm not doing?
Here's a quick recap of my "Max Out" times from each workout:
Day 1 - Cardio Challenge - 8:36
Day 2 - Tabata Power - 17:24
Day 3 - Sweat Intervals - 11:20
Day 4 - Tabata Power - 22:23 (Note the 5 minute improvement over Day 2!)
Day 5 - Friday Fight Rd I - 8:24
I feel like I gave it a pretty good go for the first week. Granted I was doing the modified moves for a majority of the work out and due to my back issues there were a couple of moves I couldn't do at all so I just did moves that I could do during those parts. All in all a successful week. My arms and legs are tired, I can feel muscles hurting that I didn't know I had! I keep telling myself it will be worth it in the end!
That's all I have for today. I am going to go and enjoy my two days off from Insanity and gear my mind up to tackle week 2!
Wishing you success in your journey!
Keith
And with that week 1 of Insanity Max 30 is in the books. Now I get 2 days of rest before I get to go back at it all again next week! Only 7 weeks to go! On Saturdays they have an optional "Pulse" video that you can do instead of resting. Guess what I'm not doing?
Here's a quick recap of my "Max Out" times from each workout:
Day 1 - Cardio Challenge - 8:36
Day 2 - Tabata Power - 17:24
Day 3 - Sweat Intervals - 11:20
Day 4 - Tabata Power - 22:23 (Note the 5 minute improvement over Day 2!)
Day 5 - Friday Fight Rd I - 8:24
I feel like I gave it a pretty good go for the first week. Granted I was doing the modified moves for a majority of the work out and due to my back issues there were a couple of moves I couldn't do at all so I just did moves that I could do during those parts. All in all a successful week. My arms and legs are tired, I can feel muscles hurting that I didn't know I had! I keep telling myself it will be worth it in the end!
That's all I have for today. I am going to go and enjoy my two days off from Insanity and gear my mind up to tackle week 2!
Wishing you success in your journey!
Keith
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
#imaxedout
Isn't every phrase captured in a hash tag these days? Well in this case, #imaxedout is an actual hash tag used in the new Insanity Max 30 workout program! You heard that right, Insanity Max 30! What the actual French, toast!?
If you read back through my blog a couple of years ago (cough....3) you will see my posts from when I was doing the original Insanity program. I got insane results then and I stopped and it all went to hell in a hurry. Thanks to my roots of fried food and lazy living I gained a lot of weight and lost my Insanity built body. No I didn't have a six pack or anything, but I was in really good shape and had decent upper body strength and had a good range of flexibility. I lost all of that! Not only have I gotten older and more out of shape but I also now have a bad back! All of these things combined certainly do not help me in my quest to get back into insane shape!
Alas, here I go again! The new Insanity Max 30 program is a bit different than the original. The workouts are all only 30 minutes long, unlike the original where Shaun T thought that people enjoyed doing 50 minute workouts. No. The biggest improvement to this series is the addition of the modified track. Basically there is a split screen on the workout where one of the participants is doing all of the exercises in a modified mode. For those of us who are way out of shape or can't do all the crazy jumps and other moves Shaun T employs, the modification allows you to keep pushing through the workout without literally dying. Literally.
To date I have completed 3 days of the new Max 30. Cardio Challenge, Tabata Power and Sweat Intervals. Of the 3, Sweat Intervals has been the worst. So the basic premise behind Max 30 is that you work out as hard as you can for as long as you can before you "max out". Once you hit your "max out" point you write down the time that you maxed out, take a quick break and then get right back to the work out. Each week you try to improve the time that you max out during the exercises. For example:
Day 1 - Cardio Challenge - Max out time: 8:36
Day 2 - Tabata Power - Max out time: 17:24
Day 3 - Sweat Intervals - Max out time: 11:20
The theory is that next week I will try to better my max out time when I repeat each exercise. We shall see.
The Tabata Power isn't actually that bad because you do 20 seconds on and 10 seconds off for each exercise. So you get a lot of little breaks. While 10 seconds doesn't sound like a break, believe me, if you've never done Insanity, a 10 second break is like 10 seconds in heaven. You take what you can get. The Cardio Challenge was tough but not insane. Now the Sweat Intervals, those were insane. It's a non-stop barrage of cardio mixed with lunges, squats, push ups and the ever dreaded Ski Abs. I can't even explain because my body hurts just thinking about it.
In addition to the workouts, Matt and I and my very best friend in the world are doing the 21 day fix meal plan. Most have heard of this by now but in case you haven't here's the deal. Basically each day you get a certain portion of the basic food groups: Vegetables, Fruits, Proteins, Carbs, Healthy Fats and Oils. Based on your weight and caloric needs you are given a set amount of portions from each of these categories. Each category portion equates to a specific measurement. For example:
Vegetables (Green Container) = 1 1/4 Cup
Fruits (Purple Container) = 1 1/4 Cup
Proteins (Red Container) = 3/4 Cup
And this continues for the rest of the food groups. The premise is to split up your meals into smaller, more frequent meals throughout the day. It's pretty much all clean eating as you don't really have much room for anything processed. So far it's not been too bad and I have felt satisfied with the amount of food I have been getting. Today was a little hard because I was off of work and had a lot of time to sit around and think about what I could eat. I had to stick to my plan and keep myself from eating extra snacks or bad food. I am curious to see what the results show at the end of the week.
Speaking of results, as per usual I will give you my starting weight so we have a starting point.
Starting Weight: 228lbs.
How magical, the same weight I started the Atkins diet with. Then I lost like 11lbs and quit Atkins and ta-da, it all came back! Now granted it took a few months but it's all here!
Well there you have it. My new quest to try and get in shape and see some real results in my body and weight! As repetitive as it is and cliché as it sounds, this is my never ending quest to lose weight!
I hope you enjoy the journey and my updates along the way! If you are on your own journey hopefully these posts provide you some support and encouragement to keep going and succeed!
I appreciate the love for my blog thus far with almost 11k views! For me being no one famous or important, having 11k views to my little weight loss blog is a big deal to me! So keep reading!
That's all I have for now!
Wishing you all the best and success in your journey!
Keith
If you read back through my blog a couple of years ago (cough....3) you will see my posts from when I was doing the original Insanity program. I got insane results then and I stopped and it all went to hell in a hurry. Thanks to my roots of fried food and lazy living I gained a lot of weight and lost my Insanity built body. No I didn't have a six pack or anything, but I was in really good shape and had decent upper body strength and had a good range of flexibility. I lost all of that! Not only have I gotten older and more out of shape but I also now have a bad back! All of these things combined certainly do not help me in my quest to get back into insane shape!
Alas, here I go again! The new Insanity Max 30 program is a bit different than the original. The workouts are all only 30 minutes long, unlike the original where Shaun T thought that people enjoyed doing 50 minute workouts. No. The biggest improvement to this series is the addition of the modified track. Basically there is a split screen on the workout where one of the participants is doing all of the exercises in a modified mode. For those of us who are way out of shape or can't do all the crazy jumps and other moves Shaun T employs, the modification allows you to keep pushing through the workout without literally dying. Literally.
To date I have completed 3 days of the new Max 30. Cardio Challenge, Tabata Power and Sweat Intervals. Of the 3, Sweat Intervals has been the worst. So the basic premise behind Max 30 is that you work out as hard as you can for as long as you can before you "max out". Once you hit your "max out" point you write down the time that you maxed out, take a quick break and then get right back to the work out. Each week you try to improve the time that you max out during the exercises. For example:
Day 1 - Cardio Challenge - Max out time: 8:36
Day 2 - Tabata Power - Max out time: 17:24
Day 3 - Sweat Intervals - Max out time: 11:20
The theory is that next week I will try to better my max out time when I repeat each exercise. We shall see.
The Tabata Power isn't actually that bad because you do 20 seconds on and 10 seconds off for each exercise. So you get a lot of little breaks. While 10 seconds doesn't sound like a break, believe me, if you've never done Insanity, a 10 second break is like 10 seconds in heaven. You take what you can get. The Cardio Challenge was tough but not insane. Now the Sweat Intervals, those were insane. It's a non-stop barrage of cardio mixed with lunges, squats, push ups and the ever dreaded Ski Abs. I can't even explain because my body hurts just thinking about it.
In addition to the workouts, Matt and I and my very best friend in the world are doing the 21 day fix meal plan. Most have heard of this by now but in case you haven't here's the deal. Basically each day you get a certain portion of the basic food groups: Vegetables, Fruits, Proteins, Carbs, Healthy Fats and Oils. Based on your weight and caloric needs you are given a set amount of portions from each of these categories. Each category portion equates to a specific measurement. For example:
Vegetables (Green Container) = 1 1/4 Cup
Fruits (Purple Container) = 1 1/4 Cup
Proteins (Red Container) = 3/4 Cup
And this continues for the rest of the food groups. The premise is to split up your meals into smaller, more frequent meals throughout the day. It's pretty much all clean eating as you don't really have much room for anything processed. So far it's not been too bad and I have felt satisfied with the amount of food I have been getting. Today was a little hard because I was off of work and had a lot of time to sit around and think about what I could eat. I had to stick to my plan and keep myself from eating extra snacks or bad food. I am curious to see what the results show at the end of the week.
Speaking of results, as per usual I will give you my starting weight so we have a starting point.
Starting Weight: 228lbs.
How magical, the same weight I started the Atkins diet with. Then I lost like 11lbs and quit Atkins and ta-da, it all came back! Now granted it took a few months but it's all here!
Well there you have it. My new quest to try and get in shape and see some real results in my body and weight! As repetitive as it is and cliché as it sounds, this is my never ending quest to lose weight!
I hope you enjoy the journey and my updates along the way! If you are on your own journey hopefully these posts provide you some support and encouragement to keep going and succeed!
I appreciate the love for my blog thus far with almost 11k views! For me being no one famous or important, having 11k views to my little weight loss blog is a big deal to me! So keep reading!
That's all I have for now!
Wishing you all the best and success in your journey!
Keith
Friday, December 19, 2014
Basket weaving is hard to do while driving!
The title, I realize, makes absolutely no sense. The analogy however when compared to dieting and trying to lose weight should come together for most if not all of you out there who have ever tried to shed a few pounds! The premise is that dieting is hard and sometimes you can be derailed.
This week has been a perfect example. I haven't been the most diligent in my food intake this week and it showed on the scale this morning. This has also been an awakening that after a while, your body will adjust to your new diet and the weight loss will level off and so it is time to try something new, like exercise.
I'll share the scary results with you as shaming as they are:
Starting Weight: 234.8
Today's Weight: 227.8
Total loss: 7lbs.
Now do I really think that I've gained three pounds this week? No. I haven't been THAT bad. I've just reduced my water intake and had more "cheats" than I would normally allow myself and that combination has likely caused some hang up in the systems. Nonetheless I was devastated to see a gain for the first time in 7 weeks!
It's just a wake up call to remind myself how easily we can fall back into old habits if we aren't careful and that while 10lbs was a successful loss, it is no reason to get careless, but should be motivation to be even more diligent.
Losing weight is an intricate puzzle that often takes trial and error. There really is no perfect formula for everyone as each of our bodies are different and react to changes in different ways. For me it's always been about finding a balance between being healthy and not depriving myself and when it comes to exercise making it something that I don't feel like I'm dying while doing and dread doing again.
This week shall be a lesson for me and a good disciplinary mindset going into the holiday week to be sure and watch myself that I don't overindulge just because it's Christmas. I need to get back to tracking my food and calories so I am more aware of what I am eating and can control my intake better rather than just guessing at it, as clearly that method is flawed!
Here's to a healthier and happier week and hopes that next week I've at least lost what I gained this week!
Have a safe and happy holidays everyone!
All my best,
Keith
This week has been a perfect example. I haven't been the most diligent in my food intake this week and it showed on the scale this morning. This has also been an awakening that after a while, your body will adjust to your new diet and the weight loss will level off and so it is time to try something new, like exercise.
I'll share the scary results with you as shaming as they are:
Starting Weight: 234.8
Today's Weight: 227.8
Total loss: 7lbs.
Now do I really think that I've gained three pounds this week? No. I haven't been THAT bad. I've just reduced my water intake and had more "cheats" than I would normally allow myself and that combination has likely caused some hang up in the systems. Nonetheless I was devastated to see a gain for the first time in 7 weeks!
It's just a wake up call to remind myself how easily we can fall back into old habits if we aren't careful and that while 10lbs was a successful loss, it is no reason to get careless, but should be motivation to be even more diligent.
Losing weight is an intricate puzzle that often takes trial and error. There really is no perfect formula for everyone as each of our bodies are different and react to changes in different ways. For me it's always been about finding a balance between being healthy and not depriving myself and when it comes to exercise making it something that I don't feel like I'm dying while doing and dread doing again.
This week shall be a lesson for me and a good disciplinary mindset going into the holiday week to be sure and watch myself that I don't overindulge just because it's Christmas. I need to get back to tracking my food and calories so I am more aware of what I am eating and can control my intake better rather than just guessing at it, as clearly that method is flawed!
Here's to a healthier and happier week and hopes that next week I've at least lost what I gained this week!
Have a safe and happy holidays everyone!
All my best,
Keith
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Achievement Unlocked: 10lbs lost. Goal trophy received.
If you haven't learned by now I'm impatient and hate waiting to results! So in contrast to my prior post on the 7th about waiting until Friday to weigh myself, I've been on the scale every morning watching and waiting to hit my goal.
This morning the scale finally got tired of me beating it and gave me what I was looking for. I've officially lost my first 10lbs!!! I'm super pumped and glad to be over this first hurdle!
Starting Weight: 234.8lbs
Today's Weight: 224.8lbs
Total loss: 10lbs
There is nothing more motivating than results and to know that I am on the right path and making progress gives me so much encouragement to keep going! I realize 10lbs is not a lot but it's a huge start for me!
Now that that hurdle is behind me, it's time to look to the future and set a new goal! I think I am going to tackle this 10lbs at a time. So my next goal is to get to 214.8lbs! If I keep on track with 10lbs every month and a half I should be down nearly 60lbs by the time the wedding rolls around next October! Here's to focusing and making things happen!
Thanks everyone for your continued encouragement and support! Stay tuned for more updates from this never ending journey!
All the best,
Keith
This morning the scale finally got tired of me beating it and gave me what I was looking for. I've officially lost my first 10lbs!!! I'm super pumped and glad to be over this first hurdle!
Starting Weight: 234.8lbs
Today's Weight: 224.8lbs
Total loss: 10lbs
There is nothing more motivating than results and to know that I am on the right path and making progress gives me so much encouragement to keep going! I realize 10lbs is not a lot but it's a huge start for me!
Now that that hurdle is behind me, it's time to look to the future and set a new goal! I think I am going to tackle this 10lbs at a time. So my next goal is to get to 214.8lbs! If I keep on track with 10lbs every month and a half I should be down nearly 60lbs by the time the wedding rolls around next October! Here's to focusing and making things happen!
Thanks everyone for your continued encouragement and support! Stay tuned for more updates from this never ending journey!
All the best,
Keith
Sunday, December 7, 2014
A hop, skip and a bottle of water away!
It seems like the weeks are fast forwarding themselves and time is just flying by! I can't believe it is already Sunday and a new week has begun!
With that being said, as I mentioned in my post last week I took advice from a radio show about weighing yourself on Fridays each week. I had already weighed on Monday so I was curious to see what happened in 5 days. I was pleased with the result!
Starting Weight: 234.8lbs
Friday's Weight: 225.8lbs
Total Loss: 9lbs
So in 5 weeks I have lost 9lbs. I was really hoping to have hit the 10lb mark at this point but 9lbs is a good goal. That's an average of 1.8lbs per week and keep in mind we haven't done any exercise. This loss has come strictly by drinking more water and watching the calories we eat and preparing most of our meals at home.
For the next phase, I would love to incorporate some kind of exercise and have been swearing that we will start the DDP Yoga series but I just can't seem to muster up the motivation to stick to it. I am hoping this week we can just hunker down and commit ourselves to hitting the floor and get into extreme yoga! It's allegedly a high calorie burning workout series, we shall see.
I'm 1lb away from my first goal of 10lbs. I could hop, skip and drink a bottle of water to flush away that pesky pound! My goal is to surpass the 10lb mark by the end of the week and I really think if I add in some sort of exercise I will hit that goal! That and maybe cut back on the Starbucks? I may or may not have had a few holiday drinks this week. Whoops! Look forward not back though, right?
That's all I have for now. Cross your fingers that we can push ourselves just a little more this week and that I hit my 10lb goal!
All my best,
Keith
With that being said, as I mentioned in my post last week I took advice from a radio show about weighing yourself on Fridays each week. I had already weighed on Monday so I was curious to see what happened in 5 days. I was pleased with the result!
Starting Weight: 234.8lbs
Friday's Weight: 225.8lbs
Total Loss: 9lbs
So in 5 weeks I have lost 9lbs. I was really hoping to have hit the 10lb mark at this point but 9lbs is a good goal. That's an average of 1.8lbs per week and keep in mind we haven't done any exercise. This loss has come strictly by drinking more water and watching the calories we eat and preparing most of our meals at home.
For the next phase, I would love to incorporate some kind of exercise and have been swearing that we will start the DDP Yoga series but I just can't seem to muster up the motivation to stick to it. I am hoping this week we can just hunker down and commit ourselves to hitting the floor and get into extreme yoga! It's allegedly a high calorie burning workout series, we shall see.
I'm 1lb away from my first goal of 10lbs. I could hop, skip and drink a bottle of water to flush away that pesky pound! My goal is to surpass the 10lb mark by the end of the week and I really think if I add in some sort of exercise I will hit that goal! That and maybe cut back on the Starbucks? I may or may not have had a few holiday drinks this week. Whoops! Look forward not back though, right?
That's all I have for now. Cross your fingers that we can push ourselves just a little more this week and that I hit my 10lb goal!
All my best,
Keith
Monday, December 1, 2014
How I survived Thanksgiving....but crashed the next day!
It's been a couple of weeks since the last post, namely because there hasn't been much to report. I can tell you that over the last month since starting this venture, Matt and I have been diligent with our charge to cook more meals at home and eat out a lot less! We have been to a drive thru fast food place 2 times in the past 30 days and they were both over this most recent extended holiday!
The way we have been working it is we go grocery shopping and buy all of our meals for the week including lunch for work and breakfast (for me, as he is not a breakfast person) so that we have everything on hand, and no excuses! Keeping on plan during the week, come Friday or Saturday we decide to allow ourselves to indulge and pick a cuisine and restaurant that we both would enjoy and have a meal there! Mind you we don't make a day of it and usually just stick to that meal and possibly a dessert somewhere. Thus far, this system has worked rather well.
Here comes the holiday! Our first venture to a drive thru came the Wednesday before. We were in a rush to get on the road and out of town and were driving a dear friend home as well that we decided to throw it to the wind and eat at Wendy's. I got a grilled chicken and diet. While certainly not the healthiest of things to eat, I could have done A LOT worse. I'm a big gal and I can put down some Wendy's, but I showed restraint. Later that eve, my brother and best friend made homemade cheese sticks after we arrived in town. I like to tell myself that he is super skinny and eats healthy on the by and by so it's gotta be ok to eat! :-)
Now where I was proud of myself is on actual Thanksgiving. We started the day by going to a food pantry and shelter to serve those in need. After, a group of us ventured to Cracker Barrel. Again, here normally I would have slayed some chicken w/ gravy, a pancake, eggs, sausage, biscuits etc. All I had were biscuits and gravy and 2 sausage patties and some apple butter. That may sound "normal" or even "heavy" for most people, but understand where I'm coming from and what I normally would have done, my restraint for me was a victory.
Now for the actual Thanksgiving dinner w/ my family. I only had ONE plate! Not two or three....just one. And that plate was not piled high and overflowing. I had a piece of turkey, a piece of ham, some stuffing, a roll, a deviled egg and some green bean casserole. I also just had one dessert instead of three or four samples of everything. I repeat myself only to say, this may seem "normal" to most people, but I'm a foodie with a serious addiction to food, so this was another victory.
All in all I took a win for myself on the holidays. Then came Black Friday and lunch with friends.
Crash....and....burn.
Look I have to tell you, we had lunch at a place called Harry's and they have some of the most delicious sushi you've ever had. One of their rolls is DEEP FRIED and another is stuffed with filet mignon and avocado! When I tell you I was in heaven, I was in heaven. I could not turn this down. I also had the mini sliders w/ a side salad & water to balance it all out! So I was good.
I felt stuffed and yet very satisfied! Later that evening, when we arrived back home, we were too tired to cook and fell back into an old habit of "just go get something". I allowed it for one evening with the promise that the next day we would get back on track and get to the store. And that is just what we did.
At the end of it all, nothing loss but nothing gained. But I have lost since my last post!
Starting weight: 234.8lbs
Today's weight: 227.4lbs
Total loss: 7.4lbs
That's almost an average of 2lbs per week, which I think is healthy and a good start. Especially given we have yet to exercise. Still working up the motivation to get back into that. It's coming!
So that's how I survived Thanksgiving and crashed the next day. But I am happy to say we are back on the wagon, we have all of our meals for the week and we are on track!
I will say that I heard a tip on the radio today to NOT weigh yourself on Monday's as the weekend tends to be your least healthy of the days so it is best to weigh yourself on Fridays. So going forward that is what I shall do. I'm curious to see how the results vary!
That's all I have for now! Stay tuned for more adventures from my never ending quest to lose weight!
All my best,
Keith
The way we have been working it is we go grocery shopping and buy all of our meals for the week including lunch for work and breakfast (for me, as he is not a breakfast person) so that we have everything on hand, and no excuses! Keeping on plan during the week, come Friday or Saturday we decide to allow ourselves to indulge and pick a cuisine and restaurant that we both would enjoy and have a meal there! Mind you we don't make a day of it and usually just stick to that meal and possibly a dessert somewhere. Thus far, this system has worked rather well.
Here comes the holiday! Our first venture to a drive thru came the Wednesday before. We were in a rush to get on the road and out of town and were driving a dear friend home as well that we decided to throw it to the wind and eat at Wendy's. I got a grilled chicken and diet. While certainly not the healthiest of things to eat, I could have done A LOT worse. I'm a big gal and I can put down some Wendy's, but I showed restraint. Later that eve, my brother and best friend made homemade cheese sticks after we arrived in town. I like to tell myself that he is super skinny and eats healthy on the by and by so it's gotta be ok to eat! :-)
Now where I was proud of myself is on actual Thanksgiving. We started the day by going to a food pantry and shelter to serve those in need. After, a group of us ventured to Cracker Barrel. Again, here normally I would have slayed some chicken w/ gravy, a pancake, eggs, sausage, biscuits etc. All I had were biscuits and gravy and 2 sausage patties and some apple butter. That may sound "normal" or even "heavy" for most people, but understand where I'm coming from and what I normally would have done, my restraint for me was a victory.
Now for the actual Thanksgiving dinner w/ my family. I only had ONE plate! Not two or three....just one. And that plate was not piled high and overflowing. I had a piece of turkey, a piece of ham, some stuffing, a roll, a deviled egg and some green bean casserole. I also just had one dessert instead of three or four samples of everything. I repeat myself only to say, this may seem "normal" to most people, but I'm a foodie with a serious addiction to food, so this was another victory.
All in all I took a win for myself on the holidays. Then came Black Friday and lunch with friends.
Crash....and....burn.
Look I have to tell you, we had lunch at a place called Harry's and they have some of the most delicious sushi you've ever had. One of their rolls is DEEP FRIED and another is stuffed with filet mignon and avocado! When I tell you I was in heaven, I was in heaven. I could not turn this down. I also had the mini sliders w/ a side salad & water to balance it all out! So I was good.
I felt stuffed and yet very satisfied! Later that evening, when we arrived back home, we were too tired to cook and fell back into an old habit of "just go get something". I allowed it for one evening with the promise that the next day we would get back on track and get to the store. And that is just what we did.
At the end of it all, nothing loss but nothing gained. But I have lost since my last post!
Starting weight: 234.8lbs
Today's weight: 227.4lbs
Total loss: 7.4lbs
That's almost an average of 2lbs per week, which I think is healthy and a good start. Especially given we have yet to exercise. Still working up the motivation to get back into that. It's coming!
So that's how I survived Thanksgiving and crashed the next day. But I am happy to say we are back on the wagon, we have all of our meals for the week and we are on track!
I will say that I heard a tip on the radio today to NOT weigh yourself on Monday's as the weekend tends to be your least healthy of the days so it is best to weigh yourself on Fridays. So going forward that is what I shall do. I'm curious to see how the results vary!
That's all I have for now! Stay tuned for more adventures from my never ending quest to lose weight!
All my best,
Keith
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Not even Starbuck's could throw me off my game!
Week 1 is on the books ya'll! Today marks 7 days on the new kick to eat better, lose weight and get healthy!
The week has been interesting, but not necessarily difficult. I found myself making better food choices without really thinking about it. Even at places where healthy wasn't really on the menu I felt like I did good. For instance on Friday night we had a work function for the grand opening of one of our new restaurants and they were sampling the menu. Everything from pizza, wings, sandwiches etc. Now my former self would have gone through that buffet line at least 3-4 times loading up a plate every time. The new and focused me only went up once and only got 1 small piece of pizza, 2 boneless wings and 3 tortilla chips. Trust that I was tempted to keep snacking, but I resisted and I was proud of myself. The good thing here also is that I didn't deprive myself completely. I allowed myself to have some "junk" food after a week of being good, which I think is vital and important to success.
This week I committed to only drinking water everyday and to try and drink at least 3 water bottles full or more. The first day it was a little tough, but after a couple of days it has just become routine to fill up my water bottle and always have water on hand! I attribute most of the weight loss this week to water weight and that's fine. I know how this game works. You lose a bunch of water weight the first week or two and then things start to slow down as you begin losing real weight!
With that being said here are this weeks results:
Starting weight: 234.8lbs
Today's weight: 230.6lbs
Total lost: 4.2lbs
Not bad for just a week on! I even allowed myself a couple of Starbucks drinks (non-fat, no whip mind you) and not even Starbuck's could throw me off my game!
I'm excited to see results the first week as that always provides motivation to keep going! My ultimate goal I can't really say is a specific number, but rather how I look and feel. I want to be able to see my belt when I look down. I want to have a neck again. I don't want my face to look like an overstuffed balloon. I don't want to look 9 months pregnant when I turn sideways. So whatever number that ends up being and gets me to those goals, that's the number I want to be at. Logistically speaking I plan to get below 200lbs over the next 4-6 months. I know I will feel better about myself and my image when that day comes again. I used the word again because this has all happened before, a few times before. My blog title says it all, it really is a never ending quest for weight loss!
Here's to another successful week! A week of good food choices and hopefully starting DDP Yoga on a regular schedule. Adding exercise to this regimen should help amp up the results a bit too!
Enjoy your week, until next time!
Wishing you success in your goals,
Keith
The week has been interesting, but not necessarily difficult. I found myself making better food choices without really thinking about it. Even at places where healthy wasn't really on the menu I felt like I did good. For instance on Friday night we had a work function for the grand opening of one of our new restaurants and they were sampling the menu. Everything from pizza, wings, sandwiches etc. Now my former self would have gone through that buffet line at least 3-4 times loading up a plate every time. The new and focused me only went up once and only got 1 small piece of pizza, 2 boneless wings and 3 tortilla chips. Trust that I was tempted to keep snacking, but I resisted and I was proud of myself. The good thing here also is that I didn't deprive myself completely. I allowed myself to have some "junk" food after a week of being good, which I think is vital and important to success.
This week I committed to only drinking water everyday and to try and drink at least 3 water bottles full or more. The first day it was a little tough, but after a couple of days it has just become routine to fill up my water bottle and always have water on hand! I attribute most of the weight loss this week to water weight and that's fine. I know how this game works. You lose a bunch of water weight the first week or two and then things start to slow down as you begin losing real weight!
With that being said here are this weeks results:
Starting weight: 234.8lbs
Today's weight: 230.6lbs
Total lost: 4.2lbs
Not bad for just a week on! I even allowed myself a couple of Starbucks drinks (non-fat, no whip mind you) and not even Starbuck's could throw me off my game!
I'm excited to see results the first week as that always provides motivation to keep going! My ultimate goal I can't really say is a specific number, but rather how I look and feel. I want to be able to see my belt when I look down. I want to have a neck again. I don't want my face to look like an overstuffed balloon. I don't want to look 9 months pregnant when I turn sideways. So whatever number that ends up being and gets me to those goals, that's the number I want to be at. Logistically speaking I plan to get below 200lbs over the next 4-6 months. I know I will feel better about myself and my image when that day comes again. I used the word again because this has all happened before, a few times before. My blog title says it all, it really is a never ending quest for weight loss!
Here's to another successful week! A week of good food choices and hopefully starting DDP Yoga on a regular schedule. Adding exercise to this regimen should help amp up the results a bit too!
Enjoy your week, until next time!
Wishing you success in your goals,
Keith
Sunday, November 2, 2014
And I said..."This is bullsh*t!" and decided to do something.
As I stood there looking in the mirror I thought to myself, "How did this happen?"
I was looking at a very overweight sad looking version of myself and couldn't figure out how I got here. Ok, that sounds stupid. Of course I KNOW how I got to this point, but it was a surreal moment. 2 years ago I wrote a post and listed my ending weight as 177lbs. I think I was wearing a small-medium shirt and a 32" waist pant.
Standing on the scale this morning it beeped back to me, "234.8".
This is bullsh*t! I have gained 57lbs in a little more than 2 years and I can't take it anymore. I won't take it anymore.
The past few weeks I have been in a depression of sorts about my body. I know that I have issues with food. I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I've had a bad day, a good day, a stressful day, an exciting day. Everyday is a reason to celebrate with food. As I pondered how I could turn this around I was not finding the energy or motivation to do anything. I didn't know how to start, where to start. I was defeated. Then it hit me, "YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED! YOU BETTER LOSE SOME WEIGHT!"
That was it. My motivation. I sat down with Matt amidst my own tears telling him that I was determined to do something and get back on track with my weight. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew it was going to have to be serious and something we could do together.
We decided that we had to do something that we could stick to without leaving us starved or frustrated. Making dietary modifications and disciplining ourselves.
Starting tomorrow, I have banned fast food/take out for the next 30 days. I set the 30 day goal for something measurable and short term as I have found it is easier to stick with short term goals that are realistic and attainable vs. long term, far reaching goals. We purchased items to make dinners at home that are lower calorie, less processed meals. Also things to eat for lunch and breakfast for work so we aren't tempted to eat out.
This may sound like something simple but for us it's a big deal. We ate our feelings in large massive quantities. We have to cut back our calories and make better choices when it comes to food and that is what we are doing to start with.
As I read back through some of my previous posts, especially the ones where I was completing Insanity, it made me realize, this isn't fun or easy, but I can do it. I CAN do it. I've done it before. It might have sucked, and I might have cried most of the way but I did it before and I can do it again!
I decided to start up my blog again to help me hold myself accountable and as an outlet to talk about the journey. It really helped me in my process last time and I think it will help me in my "do over" as well!
I also want to say or better yet ask, why are we so afraid to speak out to our friends who gain weight? I don't mean to be cruel and disrespectful about it, but can you just pull a girl aside and put a bug in her ear! Food is a drug too and I am an addict, I need an intervention!
Tonight is the last supper of sorts. No more fast food or take out after today. So what do you do when you've made that decision.....duh...you go to Taco Bell and do it up!
Cheers to my rebirth and the death (again) of Fatty McFatterton. Much like horror movie villains he just never seems to die!
Starting weight: 234.8lbs.
Let the loss begin.
All the best,
Keith
I was looking at a very overweight sad looking version of myself and couldn't figure out how I got here. Ok, that sounds stupid. Of course I KNOW how I got to this point, but it was a surreal moment. 2 years ago I wrote a post and listed my ending weight as 177lbs. I think I was wearing a small-medium shirt and a 32" waist pant.
Standing on the scale this morning it beeped back to me, "234.8".
This is bullsh*t! I have gained 57lbs in a little more than 2 years and I can't take it anymore. I won't take it anymore.
The past few weeks I have been in a depression of sorts about my body. I know that I have issues with food. I'm an emotional eater. I eat when I'm happy, I eat when I'm sad. I eat when I've had a bad day, a good day, a stressful day, an exciting day. Everyday is a reason to celebrate with food. As I pondered how I could turn this around I was not finding the energy or motivation to do anything. I didn't know how to start, where to start. I was defeated. Then it hit me, "YOU'RE GETTING MARRIED! YOU BETTER LOSE SOME WEIGHT!"
That was it. My motivation. I sat down with Matt amidst my own tears telling him that I was determined to do something and get back on track with my weight. I didn't know what I was going to do, but I knew it was going to have to be serious and something we could do together.
We decided that we had to do something that we could stick to without leaving us starved or frustrated. Making dietary modifications and disciplining ourselves.
Starting tomorrow, I have banned fast food/take out for the next 30 days. I set the 30 day goal for something measurable and short term as I have found it is easier to stick with short term goals that are realistic and attainable vs. long term, far reaching goals. We purchased items to make dinners at home that are lower calorie, less processed meals. Also things to eat for lunch and breakfast for work so we aren't tempted to eat out.
This may sound like something simple but for us it's a big deal. We ate our feelings in large massive quantities. We have to cut back our calories and make better choices when it comes to food and that is what we are doing to start with.
As I read back through some of my previous posts, especially the ones where I was completing Insanity, it made me realize, this isn't fun or easy, but I can do it. I CAN do it. I've done it before. It might have sucked, and I might have cried most of the way but I did it before and I can do it again!
I decided to start up my blog again to help me hold myself accountable and as an outlet to talk about the journey. It really helped me in my process last time and I think it will help me in my "do over" as well!
I also want to say or better yet ask, why are we so afraid to speak out to our friends who gain weight? I don't mean to be cruel and disrespectful about it, but can you just pull a girl aside and put a bug in her ear! Food is a drug too and I am an addict, I need an intervention!
Tonight is the last supper of sorts. No more fast food or take out after today. So what do you do when you've made that decision.....duh...you go to Taco Bell and do it up!
Cheers to my rebirth and the death (again) of Fatty McFatterton. Much like horror movie villains he just never seems to die!
Starting weight: 234.8lbs.
Let the loss begin.
All the best,
Keith
Thursday, September 5, 2013
3 weeks and another year older.....
Hey there! I wanted to take a minute of your day and update you on my progress since my last post!
It's been 3 weeks since I started back to trying to lose weight and thus far I have made only dietary changes, no exercise. I hope to incorporate activity in the future, but for now I'm just focusing on food as it seems to be my biggest competition!
Here are some results:
Starting Weight: 222lbs
Current Weight (as of today): 214.0lbs
8lbs....not a huge loss, but it's a little more than 2lbs per week which is healthy I think. I prefer slower weight loss as it gives your skin time to adjust so you don't get that saggy look! LOL. I've enjoyed the journey so far, mainly because it hasn't really felt like an effort! Matt has been amazing at cooking up delicious yet nutritious meals and being a great support and keeping us both on track! That helps a whole lot!
So today is a special day because it's ..... my birthday! Yes today I turn 28 (cough)......ok I'm 34! There I said it! Although it's still hard to imagine that I'm actually almost midway through my 30's! What the heck happened here? I was 21 yesterday.
Alas, this is the day I reflect back on the last year of my life and analyze what's been good, bad, ok and anything I wish to forget about! Looking back over this past year (from 33 to 34) I can't really say there has been much bad or things I want to forget. I ended up in a job that I've been working toward for a few years, I'm still with the love of my life, my family and friends are all in good health and doing well. Which by the way I have some pretty amazing friends and family who have made this past year particularly wonderful! So shout out to them!
Weight wise this time last year I was about 180lbs. So that is a disappointment to know that I'm about 34lbs heavier today than I was on my birthday last year. But the good news is, I'm working on it. When I first started this blog (if you go back and read day 1 in November of 2011) I said that this was a never ending quest. I don't think we ever truly reach and maintain a satisfactory weight or image of ourselves....we work constantly on improving it and it seems like we are never happy. I remember being 21 and 150lbs and thinking I was so fat and hideous (in my 30" waist!) Funny isn't it....I'd kill to be 150lbs again!
My point is that our self esteem and self image is a never ending conquest to be better. You have to be careful though...don't be self defeating to the point that you put yourself down or lower your own self esteem. We deal with enough a$$holes in the world who judge us, we don't need to be so hard on ourselves. Give yourself some credit...so what if you don't have a six pack washboard stomach....maybe you have an amazing smile, or gorgeous eyes, or nice a$$, or a huge heat, great hair or a combination of any of those things or all of them! We all have good attributes and while we are working on changing the ones we can and want to, we need to accentuate the positive attributes and things we like about ourselves in the process.
Whatever your goal is...stay focused...don't lose sight or hope. Falling down is inevitable, no one ever learned by being perfect from the gate. Failure breeds progress and success, you just have to be strong enough to make it through the down times to come out ahead on the other side.
With that, I am off to enjoy a celebratory birthday lunch somewhere with tasty calorie and fat free birthday food! Because as we all know....on your birthday....calories and fat don't exist! :-)
Good luck to you in your journey, remember the only person keeping you from succeeding is yourself! You can do it, so can I, we just have to DO.
All the best,
Keith
It's been 3 weeks since I started back to trying to lose weight and thus far I have made only dietary changes, no exercise. I hope to incorporate activity in the future, but for now I'm just focusing on food as it seems to be my biggest competition!
Here are some results:
Starting Weight: 222lbs
Current Weight (as of today): 214.0lbs
8lbs....not a huge loss, but it's a little more than 2lbs per week which is healthy I think. I prefer slower weight loss as it gives your skin time to adjust so you don't get that saggy look! LOL. I've enjoyed the journey so far, mainly because it hasn't really felt like an effort! Matt has been amazing at cooking up delicious yet nutritious meals and being a great support and keeping us both on track! That helps a whole lot!
So today is a special day because it's ..... my birthday! Yes today I turn 28 (cough)......ok I'm 34! There I said it! Although it's still hard to imagine that I'm actually almost midway through my 30's! What the heck happened here? I was 21 yesterday.
Alas, this is the day I reflect back on the last year of my life and analyze what's been good, bad, ok and anything I wish to forget about! Looking back over this past year (from 33 to 34) I can't really say there has been much bad or things I want to forget. I ended up in a job that I've been working toward for a few years, I'm still with the love of my life, my family and friends are all in good health and doing well. Which by the way I have some pretty amazing friends and family who have made this past year particularly wonderful! So shout out to them!
Weight wise this time last year I was about 180lbs. So that is a disappointment to know that I'm about 34lbs heavier today than I was on my birthday last year. But the good news is, I'm working on it. When I first started this blog (if you go back and read day 1 in November of 2011) I said that this was a never ending quest. I don't think we ever truly reach and maintain a satisfactory weight or image of ourselves....we work constantly on improving it and it seems like we are never happy. I remember being 21 and 150lbs and thinking I was so fat and hideous (in my 30" waist!) Funny isn't it....I'd kill to be 150lbs again!
My point is that our self esteem and self image is a never ending conquest to be better. You have to be careful though...don't be self defeating to the point that you put yourself down or lower your own self esteem. We deal with enough a$$holes in the world who judge us, we don't need to be so hard on ourselves. Give yourself some credit...so what if you don't have a six pack washboard stomach....maybe you have an amazing smile, or gorgeous eyes, or nice a$$, or a huge heat, great hair or a combination of any of those things or all of them! We all have good attributes and while we are working on changing the ones we can and want to, we need to accentuate the positive attributes and things we like about ourselves in the process.
Whatever your goal is...stay focused...don't lose sight or hope. Falling down is inevitable, no one ever learned by being perfect from the gate. Failure breeds progress and success, you just have to be strong enough to make it through the down times to come out ahead on the other side.
With that, I am off to enjoy a celebratory birthday lunch somewhere with tasty calorie and fat free birthday food! Because as we all know....on your birthday....calories and fat don't exist! :-)
Good luck to you in your journey, remember the only person keeping you from succeeding is yourself! You can do it, so can I, we just have to DO.
All the best,
Keith
Wednesday, August 14, 2013
Here I go again...but not on my own....
So it's been nearly a year since my last post and also since I last attempted anything close to a weight loss program. I've gained over 50lbs since last summer. So that means I gained back the 40 I lost PLUS an extra 10 for good measure. Gaining weight is super easy.....too bad it's not so easy getting it back off.
Having officially ran out of clothes to wear aside from the few articles I have purchased to get by because everything in my closet is too small for me now, I really needed to do something. But this time I'm not alone! Matt really kick started me into going back on Weight Watchers when he decided to start doing a calorie counting program. No more fourth meal I guess. Sad panda!
I don't really have much to offer by way of a beginning post other than to say I started Weight Watchers up again today. I know the program works if you use it so I'm sticking with what I know. I'll figure out the exercise part later, right now I need to get my diet under control and then worry about getting my girlish figure back with exercise.
Last weekend I participated in the Warrior Dash. If you aren't familiar with this, it's basically a mud run with obstacles. It was 3.40 miles long with 12 obstacles. I completed it with a team of folks from work. We had a blast and I successfully made it through and it only took me 2 hours....just 2 hours! Now granted we had some time standing in line waiting to complete obstacles, but 2 hours is really slow. I was proud of myself however for just making it through and only having to skip 1 obstacle (which a lot of people skipped due to logistics and safety). It was an accomplishment. Before I did it, I thought to myself, I'll never be able to make it through this, it's too hard, yet I came out on the other side! Then I remembered that I thought the same thing about the Insanity workout series before I started it, but I made it through 7 weeks! I bailed the last 2 weeks because I met a guy, got a new job and moved 2 states over! LOL. (what I did for love......Barbara, anyone?)
I digress....standing in line and just walking around this event in general, I saw A LOT of buff guys, I mean really buff guys. Yes I was staring....and so was Matt! LOL. After the race was over on our way home, Matt told me he wanted to do it with me next year and he wanted to do it without his shirt on too! So I think that kind of kick started both of us to do something about our weight.
I'm not saying that this time next year I'm going to have a 6 pack washboard stomach or anything, but I know I'm going to be skinnier than I am now and I'm glad I have someone to help keep me on track and support me along the way.
So paying homage to my 80's roots and Whitesnake....here I go again! Here I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (you know that one note that you can't ever hit while singing in your car).
Starting weight 222lbs.
Ready.....set.....cheeseburger?
Keith
Having officially ran out of clothes to wear aside from the few articles I have purchased to get by because everything in my closet is too small for me now, I really needed to do something. But this time I'm not alone! Matt really kick started me into going back on Weight Watchers when he decided to start doing a calorie counting program. No more fourth meal I guess. Sad panda!
I don't really have much to offer by way of a beginning post other than to say I started Weight Watchers up again today. I know the program works if you use it so I'm sticking with what I know. I'll figure out the exercise part later, right now I need to get my diet under control and then worry about getting my girlish figure back with exercise.
Last weekend I participated in the Warrior Dash. If you aren't familiar with this, it's basically a mud run with obstacles. It was 3.40 miles long with 12 obstacles. I completed it with a team of folks from work. We had a blast and I successfully made it through and it only took me 2 hours....just 2 hours! Now granted we had some time standing in line waiting to complete obstacles, but 2 hours is really slow. I was proud of myself however for just making it through and only having to skip 1 obstacle (which a lot of people skipped due to logistics and safety). It was an accomplishment. Before I did it, I thought to myself, I'll never be able to make it through this, it's too hard, yet I came out on the other side! Then I remembered that I thought the same thing about the Insanity workout series before I started it, but I made it through 7 weeks! I bailed the last 2 weeks because I met a guy, got a new job and moved 2 states over! LOL. (what I did for love......Barbara, anyone?)
I digress....standing in line and just walking around this event in general, I saw A LOT of buff guys, I mean really buff guys. Yes I was staring....and so was Matt! LOL. After the race was over on our way home, Matt told me he wanted to do it with me next year and he wanted to do it without his shirt on too! So I think that kind of kick started both of us to do something about our weight.
I'm not saying that this time next year I'm going to have a 6 pack washboard stomach or anything, but I know I'm going to be skinnier than I am now and I'm glad I have someone to help keep me on track and support me along the way.
So paying homage to my 80's roots and Whitesnake....here I go again! Here I GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! (you know that one note that you can't ever hit while singing in your car).
Starting weight 222lbs.
Ready.....set.....cheeseburger?
Keith
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
I "Heart" You Bob Harper!
New week, new start! I'm not sure why we always wait until a week starts to begin any type of workout or diet program, I guess psychologically it gives us a sense of "one last horrah" before we begin. Last week I started to do Insanity again, while I made it through the workout I realized after that I was not in any type of shape to do Insanity and that I would need to start out with something less intense. That's what happens when you stop working out for nearly 2 months!
Yesterday I decided that I needed to do some type of workout and I reached into my vaults and found "Bob Harpers Cardio Max." This workout starts out with a 30 minute cardio routine and over 6 weeks builds into a 50 minute workout. Now the cardio workout while it made me sweat was a breeze compared to Shaun T! But then again (as Matt said yesterday) anything is a breeze after Shaun T! Incidentally several of the moves that were in Bob's video were similar to Shaun T's, however less intense. I did enjoy the workout, but it was over before I really got into it. I may add on the additional workouts before the weeks are up and see how I fare.
I'm not really doing this for the program itself, more so to have some form of workout to do each day that has some level of structure. I find when I leave it to myself, not much gets accomplished so having a structured workout in place assures I actually get up and do something constructive with my time and burn calories! We will see how this goes and if I feel like I see any difference after a week or so. If all else fails, there's always Jillian and her videos right? (I'd rather slit my wrists.....) My hope is that after I get back into a routine of working out and build up my fitness level again, I can get back into Insanity.
That's all I have for today!
Wishing you success in your goals!
Keith
Yesterday I decided that I needed to do some type of workout and I reached into my vaults and found "Bob Harpers Cardio Max." This workout starts out with a 30 minute cardio routine and over 6 weeks builds into a 50 minute workout. Now the cardio workout while it made me sweat was a breeze compared to Shaun T! But then again (as Matt said yesterday) anything is a breeze after Shaun T! Incidentally several of the moves that were in Bob's video were similar to Shaun T's, however less intense. I did enjoy the workout, but it was over before I really got into it. I may add on the additional workouts before the weeks are up and see how I fare.
I'm not really doing this for the program itself, more so to have some form of workout to do each day that has some level of structure. I find when I leave it to myself, not much gets accomplished so having a structured workout in place assures I actually get up and do something constructive with my time and burn calories! We will see how this goes and if I feel like I see any difference after a week or so. If all else fails, there's always Jillian and her videos right? (I'd rather slit my wrists.....) My hope is that after I get back into a routine of working out and build up my fitness level again, I can get back into Insanity.
That's all I have for today!
Wishing you success in your goals!
Keith
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Is skinny really a goal? I almost died, again!
Yesterday I finally bit the bullet and decided to get back into Insanity. Yeah, I'm not really sure what I was thinking or why but it was all the hellish torture I remembered from before and it was the day 1 workout! As I forced myself through the craziness, I had about 15 minutes left and almost decided to turn it off. Then I thought to myself (as I lay on the floor, heaving for breath and writhing in agony) "You only have 15 minutes left, and 4 of those minutes are for stretching and cool down! You can do it!" So I got up, hit the play button and pushed through the final minutes of day 1. I almost died, again!
After the workout was over, I lay there thinking...why am I doing this? Is it to feel better about myself, is it just to be able to gloat that I can wear size Small? Is it just so I can say I'm skinny? And it hit me...is being skinny really a goal? And if so, how do we measure when we've hit said goal. I've lost nearly 40lbs since I began this journey last November. I said to myself then, once I've lost 40lbs that was my goal and I would be satisfied. Now, staring that 40lb loss in the face, I'm still not happy. I still feel fat and overweight and unattractive, chunky, husky, pudgy, soft, stocky, heavy etc. I realize there are people out there that are far bigger than I am, but they aren't me and I'm not them. We are our own worst critics and no one knows how we feel but ourselves. I know I'm not fat (maybe a lil chunky?) but I'm still not super happy about how I look in the mirror.
I entitled my blog as such because this really is a NEVER ENDING quest. Even when you hit what you think is your "goal", then you spend your life working to maintain. Most of time when we hit our "goals" then we want to set new goals and go even further. It's non-stop. We obsess over this so much that we drive ourselves crazy trying any and everything we can to lose weight. We count points, we pop pills, we run, we lift weights, we starve ourselves, we "shake our Sensa".... there isn't anything that we won't do if it helps us lose weight. I'm going to try and stop obsessing over my weight so much and just work toward feeling better about me. In my mind I feel like I need to lose 15-20 more pounds to "look good", but there's no way to know that. What if I look good after 10lbs or what if I lose 20lbs and still think I look fat? I'm over setting a goal of a specific weight and I'm going to focus on how I look and feel. If I look and feel good at 170lbs then that is great!
With all that said, I still haven't decided if I'm going to attempt to continue Insanity or just go into general workout mode, maybe daily walk/runs, or using Insanity as a workout a couple of times per week vs. a full 9 week routine. Trial and error. Onward we go. No looking back, only forward....
That's all I have for today.
Wishing you success in your goals.
Keith
After the workout was over, I lay there thinking...why am I doing this? Is it to feel better about myself, is it just to be able to gloat that I can wear size Small? Is it just so I can say I'm skinny? And it hit me...is being skinny really a goal? And if so, how do we measure when we've hit said goal. I've lost nearly 40lbs since I began this journey last November. I said to myself then, once I've lost 40lbs that was my goal and I would be satisfied. Now, staring that 40lb loss in the face, I'm still not happy. I still feel fat and overweight and unattractive, chunky, husky, pudgy, soft, stocky, heavy etc. I realize there are people out there that are far bigger than I am, but they aren't me and I'm not them. We are our own worst critics and no one knows how we feel but ourselves. I know I'm not fat (maybe a lil chunky?) but I'm still not super happy about how I look in the mirror.
I entitled my blog as such because this really is a NEVER ENDING quest. Even when you hit what you think is your "goal", then you spend your life working to maintain. Most of time when we hit our "goals" then we want to set new goals and go even further. It's non-stop. We obsess over this so much that we drive ourselves crazy trying any and everything we can to lose weight. We count points, we pop pills, we run, we lift weights, we starve ourselves, we "shake our Sensa".... there isn't anything that we won't do if it helps us lose weight. I'm going to try and stop obsessing over my weight so much and just work toward feeling better about me. In my mind I feel like I need to lose 15-20 more pounds to "look good", but there's no way to know that. What if I look good after 10lbs or what if I lose 20lbs and still think I look fat? I'm over setting a goal of a specific weight and I'm going to focus on how I look and feel. If I look and feel good at 170lbs then that is great!
With all that said, I still haven't decided if I'm going to attempt to continue Insanity or just go into general workout mode, maybe daily walk/runs, or using Insanity as a workout a couple of times per week vs. a full 9 week routine. Trial and error. Onward we go. No looking back, only forward....
That's all I have for today.
Wishing you success in your goals.
Keith
Monday, July 30, 2012
Nothing lost, nothing gained....a rebirth of sorts.
Life certainly can throw you some curve balls once in a while. And when it does it can derail even the most stable of plans. You may or may not know but about a month ago I packed up my life and moved from St. Louis, MO to Lexington, KY after 12 years of living there. It just so happened that the move came right at the end of my Insanity Workouts, I had 2 week left. After I made the move it was difficult to find time to workout. The job I had was an hour away from my home and was about 125 miles round trip each day. That required getting up and leaving early and getting home rather late.
Certainly it probably was more of an excuse than anything (you find time to do the things you want to do kind of thing) but trying to transition your life into a new job, a new home environment, a new relationship, trust me when I say it isn't easy. That's a whole lot of new for one person!
Needless to say it is time to get back in the saddle and into a routine of working out and eating healthier. I did attempt to pick up Insanity where I left off after a month and a half of being off, I'll tell you that it was unwise to try such. Month 2 was insane enough being in the routine, but take yourself out of the routine for that long and try to hit the ground running, MISTAKE. I turned it off after the second warm-up round! LOL.
I haven't yet decided if I am going to try and restart Insanity and see it through to the end or if I am just going to go into general workout mode. The issue I have with Insanity isn't that it's too difficult, because I survived the workouts, but the time commitment. Even the shorter month 1 workouts ended up being close to an hour after you paused to recover and try not to die during the workout. I'm totally not a morning person and I have to eat something before I workout or else I almost pass out and can't make it through the workout, which requires getting up almost an hour before you want to workout to eat, then the actual workout and have time to shower and get ready for work. One would need to get up around 530am or so and that just isn't me! The evening is almost just as difficult to find time to workout without holding everyone else up for dinner or watching prime time TV! Alas, more excuses which I usually don't have an issue with, but I've been out of routine for so long it seems the excuses are getting the best of me.
On a positive note I have not gained a single pound since I've been out of my routine. Which is surprising because as Colene would say I've "eaten hell off the cross". LOL. Between Matt's fantastic culinary skills and being in a group of friends who are hardcore foodies, it's not easy to eat healthy, but the food is oh so delicious! :-) I attribute my lack of weight gain partially to a loss in muscle mass, which is NOT a good thing to trade off. While I may be the same size weight wise, I'm much "softer" than I was while doing Insanity and it's not cute! So nothing lost, but nothing gained.
I'll definitely keep you posted on what I decide to do as far as workouts go. My heart says to restart Insanity and see it through to the end, but my mind recalls the torture and fights the thought of it tooth and nail! LOL. At any regard I promise to get back to blogging and back into some sort of fitness routine and will keep you, my public, loyal fans and readers informed! We're almost to 3500 views! :-)
That's all I have for today!
Wishing you success in your goals.
Keith
Certainly it probably was more of an excuse than anything (you find time to do the things you want to do kind of thing) but trying to transition your life into a new job, a new home environment, a new relationship, trust me when I say it isn't easy. That's a whole lot of new for one person!
Needless to say it is time to get back in the saddle and into a routine of working out and eating healthier. I did attempt to pick up Insanity where I left off after a month and a half of being off, I'll tell you that it was unwise to try such. Month 2 was insane enough being in the routine, but take yourself out of the routine for that long and try to hit the ground running, MISTAKE. I turned it off after the second warm-up round! LOL.
I haven't yet decided if I am going to try and restart Insanity and see it through to the end or if I am just going to go into general workout mode. The issue I have with Insanity isn't that it's too difficult, because I survived the workouts, but the time commitment. Even the shorter month 1 workouts ended up being close to an hour after you paused to recover and try not to die during the workout. I'm totally not a morning person and I have to eat something before I workout or else I almost pass out and can't make it through the workout, which requires getting up almost an hour before you want to workout to eat, then the actual workout and have time to shower and get ready for work. One would need to get up around 530am or so and that just isn't me! The evening is almost just as difficult to find time to workout without holding everyone else up for dinner or watching prime time TV! Alas, more excuses which I usually don't have an issue with, but I've been out of routine for so long it seems the excuses are getting the best of me.
On a positive note I have not gained a single pound since I've been out of my routine. Which is surprising because as Colene would say I've "eaten hell off the cross". LOL. Between Matt's fantastic culinary skills and being in a group of friends who are hardcore foodies, it's not easy to eat healthy, but the food is oh so delicious! :-) I attribute my lack of weight gain partially to a loss in muscle mass, which is NOT a good thing to trade off. While I may be the same size weight wise, I'm much "softer" than I was while doing Insanity and it's not cute! So nothing lost, but nothing gained.
I'll definitely keep you posted on what I decide to do as far as workouts go. My heart says to restart Insanity and see it through to the end, but my mind recalls the torture and fights the thought of it tooth and nail! LOL. At any regard I promise to get back to blogging and back into some sort of fitness routine and will keep you, my public, loyal fans and readers informed! We're almost to 3500 views! :-)
That's all I have for today!
Wishing you success in your goals.
Keith
Sunday, June 17, 2012
Is this thing even on.....(Insanity Recap)
So as you have noticed I have gotten way super behind in updating my blog post and my Insanity journey and I apologize! For those who do not know, I just moved from St. Louis back to Kentucky this past week and it has been a crazy time. However, I do have some Fit Test results to post from a couple of weeks back that I skipped on and can tell you that I will finish up Month 2 this week and next to get back on track!
I don't have any weigh-in results for you because I was banned from using the scale this past week by a certain someone (he knows who he is! LOL) but am hoping to see my damage tomorrow when I get back on the scale! I'll keep you posted!
Here are my Fit Test #4 results:
Exercise #1 #2 #3 #4
Switch Kicks 108 120 146 147
Power Jacks 57 67 61 67
Power Knees 83 113 114 123
Power Jumps 30 45 60 65
Globe Jumps 7 10 12 9
Suicide Jumps 13 18 21 22
Push-up Jacks 29 44 49 51
Low Plank Oblique 41 56 66 70
That's all I have for today!
Wishing you success in your goals.
Keith
I don't have any weigh-in results for you because I was banned from using the scale this past week by a certain someone (he knows who he is! LOL) but am hoping to see my damage tomorrow when I get back on the scale! I'll keep you posted!
Here are my Fit Test #4 results:
Exercise #1 #2 #3 #4
Switch Kicks 108 120 146 147
Power Jacks 57 67 61 67
Power Knees 83 113 114 123
Power Jumps 30 45 60 65
Globe Jumps 7 10 12 9
Suicide Jumps 13 18 21 22
Push-up Jacks 29 44 49 51
Low Plank Oblique 41 56 66 70
That's all I have for today!
Wishing you success in your goals.
Keith
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